The title of this blog says it all. It is perfectly fine to get mad, frustrated, angry and even sad if you don’t perform the way you think you should. But guess what? After those emotions are out and you’ve vented, cried etc, get over it! Work harder! Be proud anyways! This doesn’t have to just be with running. It can pertain to life in general. But yes, my example is with running.
I had a moment like this last night with my 4 mile group run. I already knew I needed a good slow run. My back was a little sore from a previous workout, work exhausted me and I was just overall tired. The temps were not as bad as they had been but the humidity was honestly 100%. Remember I have asthma, so some runs just feel like I have some one sitting on my chest. The air felt like we were breathing under water. I started out too fast but wanted to stay with the group because we were doing a new course. And at mile 2 I really questioned my ability to even finish. We kept getting further away from the finish and I almost felt a panic inside. I love my friends and I had someone with me almost the entire time. But last night’s run was very mental for me. My emotions were extreme! The two up front kept getting harder to keep up with and when they turned one more time to get an extra block in I just headed back to the finish. I had to fight back tears. I was angry! At them? Absolutely not. At myself? Absolutely yes! Did I keep going and make the extra block to get my 4 miles? Of course. My sweet friends were waiting on me at my car when I came back around the block. The tears were trying so hard to flow and I just needed a moment alone to gather my emotions.
So why did I get so upset? Because some days I feel like I try so hard to get better I don’t see improvement. I forget about how far I’ve come and all the obstacles I’ve dealt with. I see runners ahead of me and think I should be able to keep up on a training run. I struggle and forget why it is I run. Instead of embracing the run I let my emotions defeat me.
After the run we all hung out after and socialized as usual and I talked about how I had felt during and after the run. And I am glad I did. It put it in perspective for me. To see how others felt about how I reacted. Some complimented me and said how strong of a runner I’ve become. And one in particular was open with me and said she felt bad early in the run for not being able to keep up with us. I discussed how I felt with my sweet mom who uses a walker or cane to get around. Her reaction was for me to just be glad I’m out there. But for a moment we need to get angry. We deserve to be able to feel what we feel. We are in competition with ourselves not others. So I was only mad at myself. I only had me to blame. And I will not feel bad for having a normal reaction to something I wasn’t pleased with at the time. Was my time bad? No, not really. I ended with a 9:35 min/mile overall. I’ll take that in that awful humidity. But I learned that while it is ok to be mad, others may wish to be where you are. Others may even get mad at you for getting upset but we all have our moments. And we are all entitled to those moments. But we deal with them then move on. We learn from them, respect them and grow from them. And by the end of the night I was dang proud of myself and that run, and tomorrow is a new day.
So embrace those angry moments and let them teach you. And appreciate where you are and how far you’ve come. These emotions make you stronger, they keep us going. They allow for happy running!